The divorce mediation process follows six stages: consultation, financial disclosure, negotiation, agreement drafting, attorney review, and filing documents with the court. Most straightforward cases require three to six sessions, and the process takes place over two to four months.

Divorce mediation replaces a more expensive and demanding alternative that requires hiring independent lawyers (double the cost) and a longer litigation process. If you have a more complex situation, such as one where there is high conflict and minimal trust, you own a small business, there is a history of domestic abuse, or one person is hiding assets, mediation is not the right option for you.

With divorce mediation, you work with one divorce mediation professional (optimally, a family law attorney specializing in mediation). It is best for couples who are largely in agreement, with fairly standard assets, and who want to keep things as streamlined, affordable, and stress-free as possible.

The Six Stages of Divorce Mediation

Typically, what happens during divorce mediation is that couples meet with their divorce mediator over a series of Zoom sessions. Divorce mediation follows a structured, multi-stage process that can take as little as two months and rarely requires more than 12. Throughout this process, the divorce mediator is a neutral party who facilitates discussions and clarifies certain legal issues or precedents, but does not make decisions for either party.

The first stage is the consultation. This is a no-obligation meeting where both parties meet with the mediator, discuss their overall goals to make sure mediation is the right step for them, and learn more about the divorce mediation process. If you decide to move forward with mediation, you’ll leave that first consultation with links to California’s standard divorce documents to begin the legal dissolution of marriage, as well as instructions (and support) as you move forward.

The second stage requires a financial disclosure process. The financial disclosure forms include information about your household income, combined and individual debts, and all financial assets held by both parties and each individual. California is a community property state, and this rule means that all of the assets acquired by either party during the marriage are split 50/50. This excludes anything you had prior to the marriage, as well as family inheritances. The mediator can help to explain which assets are considered joint and which would be excluded from the community property rule. In addition to facilitating the legal division of assets, the courts also use this financial information to determine spousal and/or child support.

After the financial disclosure process, we move on to the third stage of divorce mediation: negotiation. During this stage, couples agree on four main topics: asset division, spousal support, child support, and visitation. It’s not uncommon for couples pursuing divorce mediation to have minimal negotiations. This is especially true if they have easily divisible assets and largely agree on child custody and support terms. If there are issues that need to be worked through to reach a complete agreement or a satisfactory compromise, the mediator serves as a neutral facilitator of those conversations. We never provide legal advice. If you reach an impasse, we can take a break and meet again when both parties have had time to think or process. We may also re-engage the conversation, looking at it from various angles. After more than 40 years helping couples negotiate through the mediation process, I never provide binding legal advice, but I can provide insight into how a judge is most likely to rule if it were to go to court.

Assuming the negotiation process is successful, we move on to drafting the marriage settlement agreement (MSA). That’s the document where all of the agreements made during negotiations are officially recorded for the court’s record. It contains the comprehensive, legally binding terms and resolutions agreed upon by divorcing spouses. It’s essential that you feel 100% confident with the final terms because you are beholden to them by the court. If you do not honor them, it can come back to haunt you and may require hiring lawyers to pursue litigation.

If you can afford it, we recommend pursuing an independent attorney review, which typically costs $1,000 to $2,000. This is a non-adversarial review done by individual lawyers (one per party), to ensure the terms of your divorce feel fair and provide room for the legal equivalent of “a second opinion” before the MSA is officially filed with the court.

Finally, the MSA is filed with the courts, which is the sixth and final stage. From that point forward, the agreements are legally binding, and both parties are expected to adhere to the agreements. That said, there is a mandatory six-month waiting period during which you are still technically married. This gives both parties space to make sure the agreement terms are the right choice for them and provides a window of time in case the couple decides to remain married.

Although the mediation process is divided into six stages, it’s still much faster than a divorce through litigation. While mediation tends to resolve a divorce within two to four months, California couples using litigation typically complete their final MSA between 12 and 24 months.

How Many Sessions Does Divorce Mediation Take?

There is no set rule regarding how many sessions a divorce mediation takes. Most couples meet with their mediator at least twice: once to discuss the process and their goals, and again during the negotiation phase. Zoom mediation sessions are legally valid for California divorce proceedings, so keep in mind that these sessions do not require you to commute any further than your own home or office. After the initial consultation, mediation sessions take 2 to 3 hours each. You can also sign all legal documents online via DocuSign.

However, mediation proceedings can take longer depending on the complexity of the case or big differences of opinion regarding child custody, support, or visitation terms. Usually, a straightforward mediation process requires two to four visits, and it may be completed in two months or less. If there are moderate complexities, but couples are still largely on the same page, it can take three to six sessions (over two to four months). If there is a higher level of complexity or a couple is struggling to find common ground, mediation may require six or more sessions.

If communication breaks down, agreements can’t be reached, or more complex issues arise during the process, there are options. We may refer you to a collaborative divorce attorney or pursue a more traditional litigation path. In this case, we can maintain the agreements you’ve made in the MSA and draft a document for both of your attorneys, letting them know what remains unresolved.

What the Mediator Covers (and What Only You Can Decide)

While the best mediators tend to be family law attorneys, they serve as neutral parties during mediation sessions and within the framework of communication between the parties and the mediator. Mediators do not provide legal advice, and they do not decide anything at all.

Instead, mediators facilitate conversations between both parties around four core issues:

1. Property and debt division under California’s community property rule.
2. Spousal support (this is based more on facts than any formula).
3. Child custody and a co-parenting plan.
4. Child support (using California’s guideline formula, parties can agree on specific terms).

In addition to not giving legal advice or making binding decisions, California divorce mediators can shut down the process if they find that one party is hiding assets. This is illegal and moves the divorce into the litigation realm, which requires individual attorneys. We also bow out of the process reveals there is a history of domestic violence of any kind.

What Mediation Costs Compared to Divorce Litigation

On average, mediation costs significantly less than litigation. However, the costs vary depending on the complexity of the case.

The average cost for mediation ranges from $3,000-$15,000 combined, versus $15,000-$50,000+ per spouse in litigation. Couples who choose mediation but opt for an attorney review of the MSA, protecting each party without requiring full litigation representation, may pay an additional $1,000 to $2,000.

Getting Started With Divorce Mediation

To reap the benefits of divorce mediation, which include a streamlined process, lower overall costs, and a shortened timeline, we recommend seeking support from an experienced family law attorney. Gerard A. Falzone, founder of the Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone, has more than 40 years of experience in California family law mediation.

All sessions are conducted via Zoom, allowing us to serve clients throughout Alameda and Marin County without time lost to unnecessary commutes. You can schedule a free telephone consultation by calling (510) 521-9500 to determine whether mediation is a good fit for your situation, after which we’ll schedule your first mediation consultation to get the process underway.

Frequently Asked Questions About Divorce Mediation

Q1: How long does divorce mediation take in California?

A1: The simplest cases take between one and two months. Divorces with more complex scenarios or where couples struggle to come to agreement on core divorce terms (asset division, child custody/visitation, etc.) can take as long as 12 months. Even so, that is still far shorter than a divorce using individual representation and litigation, which averages between 12 and 24 months.

Q2: How many sessions does divorce mediation require?

A2: The average divorce using mediation requires three to four sessions. Some can be completed in just two sessions, particularly if there is a simple division of assets/debts or no children are involved. The most complex mediation scenarios can take six or more sessions, but that is more rare.

Q3: What is a marital settlement agreement?

A3: A marital settlement agreement (MSA) is a written contract between both parties that states how they have agreed to handle the pertinent aspects of their divorce. It typically covers things like:

• Property division: This portion covers how they’ve decided to split houses, additional properties, cars, bank accounts, retirement funds, investments, and debts.
• Child custody and visitation: Documents specific to child custody establish the schedules for visitation and parental duties. It can also outline a right of first refusal to have your child if the other parent isn’t able to take care of them during their typical evening or weekend.
• Support (spouse and/or child): This section covers the amounts for child support and alimony, the former of which is usually determined by CA’s child support calculator while the latter is determined by the receiving spouse’s need, situation, history, and future earning capability.
• Expenses: Some couples use their MSA to outline specifics about future expenses, such as how they’ll handle expenses beyond a child’s basic needs, future college tuition, pet care for existing pets, and so on.

Once complete, the MSA is filed with the court. The divorce is final six months after the file date stamped by the court.

Q4: Do I need a lawyer for divorce mediation?

A4: No, divorce mediators come from a diverse range of backgrounds. However, nobody understands the ins and outs of California divorce laws like a licensed attorney.

We strongly advise using a family law attorney specializing in divorce mediation for the best outcomes. If you choose to use someone else, then having the documents reviewed by independent attorneys is a must to ensure there are no mistakes or serious oversights.

Q5: Can divorce mediation be done over Zoom in California?

Yes. Zoom mediation sessions are legally valid for California divorce proceedings.

Co-parenting mediation uses a single family law professional as a mediator, while couples work together to create or update parenting plans during or after a divorce. Mediation can also be used for unmarried couples as they navigate child support, custody, visitation, and other aspects of collaborative parenting plans.

During the process, a neutral mediator helps separated or divorced couples create an agreement that honors the best outcomes for all, to minimize tension, drama, and excessive costs associated with retaining separate lawyers or battling things out in the courtroom.

While co-parenting mediation can be one aspect of divorce mediation (which covers all divorce issues), it also exists as a stand-alone service. And, because people’s plans and lives change and evolve, co-parenting mediation can take place at any time after a divorce while the children are minors.

What Gets Covered in a Co-Parenting Mediation Session

While co-parenting sessions are tailored to the parent’s needs, the agreements made typically revolve around things like:

Child Custody Schedules

When we discuss child custody schedules, we evaluate factors such as the children’s ages, parents’ work schedules, and how to keep family culture and certain traditions as stable as possible for the kids. If the children are old enough, they may want to have input on the custody schedule.

Some of the most common structures for child custody calendars are:

• 2-2-3 rotation. Parents alternate two days on/two days off/three days on. This is common for parents of babies or very young children, who need to maintain consistent bonding, since this age group can’t understand explanations about what’s happening.
• One week on/one week off. As children get older, they sometimes request a two week/two week schedule to minimize transition between homes, which is almost always challenging.
• The 2-2-5-5 rotation. With this one, children spend two days with one parent, two days with the other, then five days with the first parent, and five days with the other.
• The 3-3-4-4. This schedule is like the 2-2-5-5, but it’s done with three/four days in between.

Holiday and vacation planning

It’s not uncommon for families to alternate holidays. However, there may be more detailed agreements depending on a particular parent’s tradition or which extended family members will be present. It’s always important to include agreements on how permission for travel is granted, especially when plans involve out-of-state or out-of-country destinations.

Education & Medical Decisions

Who will be deciding what, and how will disagreements be handled?

Parent Communication

Clear communication guidelines are essential to keep things consistent and respectful for all. Your child custody agreement should outline preferred communication methods and time boundaries, such as “changes to the custody schedule need to be requested at least one week in advance” or “requests or questions need to be responded to in 24 hours or less.”

We usually recommend using co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard, Cozi, or AppClose. These apps are tamper-proof and offer secure logins, access to shared family calendars, communication platforms, and more.

Shared Child-Rearing Values & First-Right of Refusal

Co-parenting mediation sessions are also a time for you to prioritize certain child-rearing values you can both agree on, realizing there’s no way to control what happens in the other household completely. You can also stipulate things like “first-right of refusal,” which means if a parent is going out on a certain evening or will be gone for a day on a business trip, the other parent has the first dibs on having the child with them before a babysitter, step-parents, or anyone else would watch them.

Again, sessions are personalized. While the above are among the most common issues we address during co-parenting mediation sessions, there may be others relevant to your family’s situation.

How California Law Shapes Co-Parenting Agreements

Co-parenting mediation sessions create agreements that follow CA Family Law child custody tenets. Three of the statutes we pay closest attention to are:

• FC 3020: CA’s presumption of frequent and continuing contact with both parents. Barring things like domestic violence, child abuse, or unaddressed substance abuse, CA law is very clear about prioritizing a child’s consistent contact and connection with both parents. Mediation aligns naturally with this statute since parents are working together (win!) to create co-parenting agreements that keep children’s wellbeing at the forefront.
• FC 3011: This law emphasizes that the courts will always prioritize the best Interest of a child whenever parents can’t agree about a particular child custody or visitation issue.
• FC 3170: If you end up in court anyway, the court requires mediation anyway. By starting with private mediation, you have more control over the mediation you work with and the process from the outset.

Here in Alameda and Marin, county law courts use mediators to make direct custody recommendations to the judge. Private mediation bypasses this. If you and the other parent disagree, the co-parenting mediator lets you know how the judge would most likely rule, which can help you come to a faster resolution. Also, mediated child custody agreements can include a built-in clause requiring a return to mediation before either parent files a court motion.

When Co-Parenting Mediation Makes Sense After Divorce

A recent 12-year study demonstrated that parents who mediated custody maintained contact with children at three times the rate of those who used litigation. That’s worth considering. But even if you didn’t use mediation during your initial divorce proceedings, you can still benefit from co-parenting mediation long after the divorce is final.

There are several scenarios where co-parenting makes sense after a divorce. Time brings inevitable changes for both parents, their households, their incomes, and their children’s development. And, you can use co-parenting mediation after a divorce, even if you used litigation during the original divorce proceedings.

Here are some of the scenarios that inspire clients to return to our office for post-divorce co-parenting mediation or support.

• Parent relocations. While the courts encourage parents to remain as local as possible to minimize disruptions in their custody/visitiation schedules, a relocation may be unavoidable. This may require redrafting of the physical custody and visitation schedule, although both parents maintain 50/50 legal custody.
• Changes in the child’s school. It’s not uncommon for children to go to schools outside of their original school district, especially if they’re taking advantage of opportunities available via charter, magnet, or private schools. In this case, it may make more sense for a parent who lives closer to the school to have a larger share of the child-custody pie to keep school/extracurricular commutes reasonable.
• A parent’s work schedule shifts considerably. If a parent starts working graveyard shifts or has to be at work far earlier than a child starts school, it may change which household makes the most sense on weekday evenings. Similarly, a parent may need to work out of town regularly, which would shift custody to the other parent’s home.
• The children’s needs evolve with age. Some children are far more mother-attached than others, and the other parent may concede during that phase to allow the mother to have a larger share of the physical custody. Or sometimes a teen needs more space from the parent with whom they have the most conflict. The adolescent’s or teen’s physical location relative to their social community, or their aversion to too frequent transitions, may also prompt parents to create new custody arrangements that better support the child’s needs.

Fortunately, an existing court order can be modified through mediation, after which a stipulated child custody modification is filed with the court. This process prevents you from having to hire lawyers or return to a costly litigation process.

How to Get Started with a Co-Parenting Mediator

Getting started with a co-parenting mediator is as simple as making a phone call, determining whether your situation is a good fit for co-parenting mediation, and scheduling your first appointment.

During that first consultation, both parents typically meet (together or separately) to explain their situation and goals and to explore whether it feels like the right fit. Here at the Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone, we use Zoom consultations to make it as easy as possible for clients to meet with us around their busy work/life schedules. With 40+ years of California family law experience, we ensure our clients move through the process as efficiently as possible, minimizing time and expense.

Co-parenting mediation works best for parents who are committed to minimizing stress and willing to negotiate. It may not be the best option in active, heated divorce situations or where litigation is already in motion.

Give the Law Offices of Gerard Falzone a call at 415-482-7800 or contact us online to schedule a discovery call and learn more about your options.

FAQ About Co-Parenting Mediation

Can we use co-parenting divorce mediation if we’re already divorced?

Yes, absolutely! In fact, co-parenting mediation is an ideal solution for couples who are already navigating post-divorce life. Now, you both have a better understanding of what’s working and what’s not, as well as how to optimize the process for the kids. This lived experience can significantly expedite the custody mediation process.

Does the mediator decide our custody schedule?

No. The mediator does not make any decisions. We are family law attorneys who prefer to work in more collaborative settings and avoid contentious litigation. Mediators are there to listen, provide professional input based on CA family law statutes, and draw up the legal paperwork we file with the court for you.

While we are happy to provide suggestions for your child custody schedule based on what you share with us, you are the ones who make all final decisions regarding the child custody agreement.

How long does co-parenting mediation take?

In most cases, co-parenting mediation takes two to four sessions, which may be spread out over a couple of weeks to a month or so. Ultimately, the parents’ ability to cooperate and negotiate determines how long it will take. In simple cases, a standard custody agreement can be drawn up in just one or two sessions. More complex cases, or couples who have a hard time getting around certain sticking points, may require extra sessions to iron things out.

What happens if we can’t agree in mediation?

Usually, our discovery session is enough for mediation attorneys to sense whether or not the process is right for you, or whether you might want to seek collaborative divorce or traditional litigation. If, however, we move forward and you can’t agree, we’ll refer you to reputable litigation attorneys in the area.

Many couples put off getting divorced because they worry about how much it will cost. Fortunately, divorce mediation offers a more affordable route forward, while providing the added benefits of reduced stress, less drama, and a more emotionally stable journey for the children.

What Does Divorce Mediation Actually Cost?

The average cost of divorce mediation in California ranges from $ 3,000 to $15,000, depending on the situation. There are several factors that affect the total cost:

Geographic location affects divorce attorney fees

Geographic locations affect the cost of living and that, in turn, drives the average fees for a divorce attorney’s time. Like most lawyers, divorce mediation attorneys charge by the hour. Some may offer a “package deal” where a certain number of sessions cost a set price, with additional fees charged for added complexities, legal needs, or extra sessions. 

Here in the Bay Area, divorce mediation lawyers charge between $300 and $800 per hour. These costs are split between both parties. If one client is unable to pay those fees up front, the other spouse may be willing to pay the full amount up front, knowing that half will be made up through the settlement agreement for the marital assets. 

Number of sessions

As mentioned above, the number of sessions is also a driving factor. If your divorce mediation attorney charges by the hour, the number of sessions (and the length of each session) will be multiplied to determine the total cost. Keep in mind that there may be additional costs (time spent by the legal office) for services such as filing documents for you, drafting additional agreements, and client correspondence (emails/phone calls) between sessions.

Complexity of the case

As you can imagine, the case’s complexity can also affect total cost. The sooner both parties reach an agreement on the division of assets, child visitation, and any spousal or child support payments, the more affordable the process will be. If couples struggle to reach an agreement and issues carry over into additional sessions (or communication with the attorney between sessions), the cost will continue to rise.

How Mediation Compares to a Contested Divorce

The cost difference between divorce and mediation is significant. Here in CA, the average cost of a divorce involving litigation ranges from $17,000 to $26,300. Couples typically pay the lower end of that range without children. 

Child custody and visitation agreements are often significant sticking points for individual parents. When they can’t see eye to eye, divorce litigation costs rise swiftly upwards to include attorney fees on both sides, and those costs rise even higher if the divorce proceedings require court time. 

Most mediated divorces are finalized notably faster than most contested divorces. While most divorces using mediation range between two to four months, divorce litigation proceedings tend to last 12 – 24 months. This is a significant difference in attorney time/billing. All in all, couples willing to navigate their divorce using a mediator save 50% to 80%.

What’s Included in Divorce Mediation (and What’s Extra?)

When working through the cost of mediation for divorce, it’s helpful to understand what’s included in the mediation process and what’s not: 

Standard costs of mediation

Some of the fees included in mediation processes are standard. These include things like:

• Lawyer fees (often billed by the hour, sometimes in a package of some kind).
• CA court filing fee (as of 2026 it costs $435 to file your divorce with the state).
• Attorney review of the final agreement ($1,000 – $2,000 per spouse).

What you do not pay for during mediation (and what helps to save you money on your divorce) are two separate attorneys, ongoing litigation (divorce mediators prefer to work towards amicable divorces and retain a neutral middle-ground and a focus on efficient, non-dramatic procedures), and discovery costs (legal administrative costs in gathering “evidence” to support a spouse’s claims/perspective).

What can cost extra with divorce mediation

In some cases, your divorce mediation may require additional work or time on behalf of the lawyer and their administrative team. For example:

• Complex assets. Depending on your work/marital history, assets can be more difficult to divide. Examples include owning your own business, multiple retirement accounts, individual and jointly held real estate, etc.).

• High-Conflict. One of the top priorities and benefits of divorce mediation is minimizing conflict, stress, and the negative emotional side effects of a divorce. However, the more escalated the conflict, the longer it can take to come to a mutual agreement.

• The addition of private (rather than joint) sessions. When one party wants to meet separately with the attorney for consults, rather than using joint sessions, it’s called “caucusing.” These additional sessions are wrapped into the total bill. 

The more you can work together to come to an agreement in the joint mediation sessions, the faster and more affordable the cost of divorce mediation will be. If your case presents these or other common complexities, a divorce mediator may recommend a collaborative divorce as an alternative option.

Is Mediation The Right Financial Decision For Your Situation?

While the high cost of divorce vs mediation may be a primary inspiration for your interest, other factors should determine whether it’s the right choice for you. 

The pros of divorce mediation

There is no doubt that divorce mediation has been game-changing when it’s the right fit. Current statistics from a comprehensive 12-year review show that 70% to 85% of couples who use mediation reach a mutual agreement. Of those, only 20 to 30% ever go back to court, some of whom are simply renegotiating the agreement after inevitable life changes have made it necessary. 

Some of the biggest benefits of mediation include:

• Affordability. As stated, the cost of mediation for divorce tends to be between 50% to 80% less than that associated with more traditional divorce litigation.
• Less stressful. The overarching goal of mediation is to facilitate a more efficient, less stressful, and faster divorce process, which is much easier on both adults and children.
• More time and energy efficient. When two people are in complete or general agreement on asset division, child custody, and other related topics, they can complete divorce mediation within just a few months. It’s very rare for traditional divorces to be finished in less than a year.
• Less traumatic on the family unit. Again, the emphasis on communication, cooperation, and civility inherent in divorce mediation means it’s less traumatic on the family as a whole. Minimizing drama, tension, and negativity should always be a top priority when you have children. Doing so paves the way to healthier co-parenting after the divorce.

When divorce mediation is NOT the best fit for you

We do not recommend divorce mediation when:

• There is a history of domestic violence or extreme substance abuse.
• One person refuses to participate (divorce mediation requires cooperation).
• You suspect or know your partner has hidden assets (this requires professional discovery and administrative involvement beyond what mediation processes are designed for).
• You do not trust your spouse. We aren’t necessarily talking about infidelity or some of the more typical marital/relational issues that lead to the divorce. In this instance, we mean you can’t trust they are being honest about where they work, you feel they are employed/being paid when they say they’re not, their disclosed income, their assets, or other factors that have an impact on the final divorce agreements and settlements.
• Private business interests (co-owned or solopreneurial enterprises) make asset division more complicated.

It’s always best to consult with a divorce mediator or collaborative divorce attorney to discuss your situation and determine which process is best suited to your situation. 

The Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone have prioritized divorce mediation for more than forty years. We invite you to give us a call and take advantage of a free telephone consultation so we can hear your story and talk through whether medication is a good fit.