There are so many considerations when planning to divorce and navigating child custody in a way that keeps the children’s best interests at heart. One of the most overlooked aspects of any divorce is the grandparents’ roles after the divorce. Clients often ask:

• Do grandparents have visitation or custody rights?
• Can grandparents be granted full or part-time custody?
• Should grandparent visits be part of the child custody and visitation agreement?
• Can a grandparent be legally denied visitation with a child?

If you are a grandparent or you are concerned your spouse may not uphold visitation with grandparents after a divorce, schedule a consultation with a family law specialist ASAP. 

Steps To Protect Grandparents’ Visitation (Or Custody) Rights After A Divorce

Every situation is different, so consulting with a lawyer is critical if you want legal documents specifying anything related to grandparent custody or visitation. As with step-parents, there is nothing inherently automatic about visitation rights for grandparents – even if they’ve been a regular part of the children’s lives.

If these decisions aren’t made during the divorce proceedings, paperwork can be filed after the fact, but this is not advised. To protect the children’s best interests, these decisions should be made and legally documented – or decided by the courts – during the divorce proceedings so everyone can move forward afterward. 

Schedule a consultation with a family law mediator

First, we recommend scheduling consultations with a family law mediator. Mediators are licensed family law attorneys who use a fee-based schedule, prioritizing the ease, efficiency, and cost-effectiveness of keeping divorce proceedings out of the contentious courtroom. 

Research shows that the emotional and mental well-being of children (and adults) improves when divorces are as respectful and amicable as possible. Your mediator can help you establish sound, sensible guidelines for incorporating grandparent visits and traditions into the child custody and visitation agreement to take that worry off the table.

Petition for visitation rights

If one spouse or the other is hedging for some reason, grandparents have the right to petition for visitation rights through the courts. In this case, the courts review everyone’s input and information and make their decision. This is only the case if parents are never married, are separated or divorced, and do not live in the same home. If parents are married and live together, grandparents cannot usually petition the court for visitation (there are exceptions, but your attorney can work through them with you if that scenario applies to you).

Not surprisingly, the court’s focus is always on the children’s best interests. When reviewing the petition, they’ll consider multiple factors:

• The children’s age
• Children’s wishes (the older the child, the more the child respects their opinion and input).
• Historical visitation and relationship scenarios. For example, if the children have always spent time with grandparents during the summer, gone to weekly or monthly meals/overnights, or shared holiday or birthday traditions – these types of things are typically viewed as healthy to maintain. The court is likely to make that part of their ruling.
• The child’s relationship with their custodial parent(s) or guardian(s).
• A parent’s opposition to visitation (any indication of abuse, travel issues, historical conflicts that impact a child’s well-being at a grandparent’s home, etc.).

In addition to the children’s well-being, courts pay special attention when a parent intentionally blocks visitation. The court prioritizes parental rights and weighs parental input heavily. They’ll listen carefully to the current and historical evidence, and decide accordingly.

Ultimately, as the CA Family Law Court states on its website:

…the judge can only order reasonable visitation if they find that there’s an existing bond between grandparents and child and the child’s best interest outweighs the opposing parent’s rights.

Grandparents as legal guardians

Then, there is the scenario where grandparents feel their grandchild(ren)’s wellbeing is at risk with either parent. In this case, grandparents have the right to petition for legal guardianship. While there is a difference in the forms you complete and file with the court. 

In this case, it’s the grandparent(s)’ responsibility to prove that the child’s health, well-being, and safety are in danger with either parent. This may be due to a history of abuse or addiction or because a mental or physical health issue makes it impossible for the parent to care for the child properly. 

If there is any way you can get the parents to agree to the guardianship, we highly encourage this route. A family law mediator is your best asset in mediating conversations, highlighting the court’s standard views on varying scenarios, and presenting ideas around guardianship, visitation, etc., based on our experience with other families. 

In the case mediation isn’t an option, consult with a family law attorney specializing in guardianship to ensure you have all of the evidence required to support and strengthen your case. If parents oppose the petition for guardianship, you want to hire the best lawyer you can afford, as these trials are awful for the children. You want the best resolution possible, as quickly as possible, to minimize the impact on the children.

Learn More About Grandparent Visitation At The Law Offices Of Gerard Falzone

Are you worried your child’s divorce will affect your relationship with a grandchild? As parents, are you interested in putting grandparent visitation stipulations into the child custody and visitation agreements? Or, are you a grandparent interested in pursuing legal guardianship of your grandchild(ren)? 

Contact the Law Offices of Gerard Falzone and schedule a consultation. Our offices always prioritize mediation and collaborative methods, focusing on keeping the stress, contention, and unnecessary costs out of the divorce and child custody proceedings. 

Co-parenting is never easy and is particularly challenging during and after a heated divorce. However, your children are innocent victims, and experts are unwaveringly clear that healthy co-parenting is the key to protecting your children’s mental and emotional well-being.

There is no excuse for anything other than prioritizing the children’s best interests and making healthy co-parenting a priority. This means keeping children-first co-parenting communication at the forefront of all you do before, during, and after your divorce.

Healthy Co-Parenting After A Divorce Is Essential To Your Child’s Wellbeing

Studies prove time and time again that divorces make children more prone to:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Lower self-esteem and insecurity
• Academic struggles
• Behavioral issues
• Developing substance abuse issues

Putting your children’s well-being first during your divorce goes a long way toward making children feel more safe, seen, heard, and loved. 

5 Tips For Healthy Co-Parenting Communication

After more than 30 years of helping families navigate divorce proceedings in the smoothest way possible and with the least harm done, I’ve seen firsthand how crucial co-parenting communication is for childhood health and well-being in both the short and long term.

Here are my tips for healthy co-parenting communication during and after a divorce.

Prioritize mediation or collaborative divorce procedures

Do all you can to use divorce mediation and avoid lengthy, drawn-out disputes whenever possible. The longer you are in limbo, the more stressful it is for your children. If mediation isn’t working, then look for collaborative divorce attorneys so you benefit from individual representation but with a unified goal of minimizing contention, disputes, or other stressful scenarios that trickle down onto the kids.

You do not “lose out” in any way when pursuing mediation or collaboration. In all of the proceedings I’ve facilitated, clients are ultimately grateful that – in addition to saving thousands of dollars – their divorce was finalized faster, with more integrity, and with less extended drama on the home front. 

Use the same family therapist and continue going

The idea that a divorce is a final ending is a myth – especially if you have children. The legal marriage may have ended, but your role as your children’s father and mother (or step-parent) never ends. In other words, you owe it to your children to create a new version of your family – and one in which they can feel as comfortable as possible in one home, the other, or at joint celebrations and extracurricular activities.

Maybe therapy didn’t work to save your marriage. Still, I can guarantee the right therapist can save your new, co-parenting family while supporting everyone’s emotional health and resilience in a very new family structure. Using the same therapist is invaluable. It keeps stories unified, and by getting to know each parent’s (or their partner’s) dynamics, your children’s needs and wants are better honored and facilitated. Your divorce mediation or collaborative attorney can provide you with a list of their recommended therapists.

Honor the final divorce agreement as soon as possible

While your marriage is legally dissolved six months after filing the Dissolution of Marriage, most divorce agreements have a “list of things to do” and a timeline to get them done. It’s not uncommon for some (or all) of these to sit on the backburner because both parties experience post-divorce proceeding fatigue.

However, the longer you avoid what needs to be done after a divorce, the more likely it is to become part of your children’s experience. They’ll sense your stress, overhear you talking about things to family and friends, or listen to you or your ex-spouse talking about the other person (a HUGE no-no in co-parenting). Equally harmful, children may witness the two of you arguing or fighting like you used to – even though the divorce is final. In which case, they understandably wonder why you bothered divorcing in the first place, adding to their emotional confusion.

Take action and clear up all loose ends ASAP to keep co-parenting channels as clear as possible.

Never disrespect your ex-spouse or talk about their child custody/visitation failures

This is not easy. Not by a long shot. However, speaking poorly or disrespectfully about your spouse to your children (even older teenagers or young adults) is emotionally toxic. Even if your children speak ill of them, it’s best to remain silent – supporting your child’s feelings but never participating in parent bashing. 

Similarly, avoid the temptation to tell children parts of the story that are not their business – like their parent isn’t paying what they owe in child support, is not honoring their child custody agreement, etc. These do nothing but cause pain for your child. Your job is to listen to and honor your child’s feelings without contributing to co-parenting slander. I guarantee that if you do this, your children will be forever grateful to you.

Take advantage of co-parenting apps

Having a hard time speaking to your ex-spouse? This is not uncommon, especially in the earlier days after the divorce. Hopefully, time, self-awareness, and diligent emotional work should ease that a bit. In the meantime, several co-parenting apps are worth their proverbial weight in gold when it comes to everything from child visitation schedules, extra-curricular calendars, or other reminders that are part of every family dynamic – married or divorced. Other helpful features include photo sharing, digital files for important medical/health/insurance info, etc. 

A few of our client’s favorite co-parenting apps are:

• Our Family Wizard.
• Cozi (this wasn’t initially a co-parenting app, but many divorced couples appreciate its functions, including the ability to add older children, grandparents, or other primary caregivers).
• 2 Houses. 
• Many others are available online.

Having one spot for all of this helps to mitigate the amount of time spent communicating/arguing about who told each other what OR the “who does more” in the emotional labor department – which can bring the past right back into your laps… precisely what you don’t want after a divorce is final.

The Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone Offers Mediation for Better Co-Parenting

Our Bay Area family law offices are 100% dedicated to making divorces as stress-free and integrity-rich as possible. This includes a deep dedication to minimizing any negative effects on our clients’ children. Contact the Law Offices of Gerard A Falzone to begin moving forward. 

Let us help you navigate your divorce – no matter how challenging – in a way that keeps family first and supports the importance of communication in co-parenting after a divorce.

The more you understand and prepare for the divorce process, the more streamlined it can be. This guide serves as a basic guide as you move forward with your divorce process. If two people can come to general agreements around key areas, it makes the entire divorce move more efficiently – and affordably.

In most cases, it’s the roller coaster ride of emotions that makes a divorce complex. That’s especially true when children are involved, or one person wants to get divorced while the other doesn’t. Infidelity or hidden habits/debts are additional reasons that divorces become contentious. 

Quick Guide To The Divorce Process

This guide is designed to support the black-and-white “business” of divorce, which is made easier because California is both a no-fault divorce and a community property state. In other words, much of the divorce outcome is already decided by the family law court system. It’s just a matter of getting it onto paper, filing it through the legal channels, and moving forward from there. 

Easier said than done, right? We hope that by reviewing the following steps, you’re prepared to move forward with a divorce to keep it as streamlined and angst-free as possible and out of the courtroom. There is a dramatic difference between using a divorce mediator and/or moving forward in a collaborative divorce scenario and battling in court – and the latter is significantly more costly in terms of financial health, emotional well-being, and what’s in the best interest of your children.

Step One: Schedule a consultation with a divorce mediator

The first step is to schedule a pre-divorce session with a divorce mediator or lawyer specializing in collaborative divorces. Divorce mediation and collaborative divorces are both designed to support two people in navigating their divorce with the least amount of duress possible.

This one meeting, always fee-based, is a simple way to learn more about the paperwork required to move forward and how to organize your assets, debts, wishes, etc. We can also discuss any children in the mix and different options for handling child custody, visitation, and financial support.

Note: If you have step-children and they have a close relationship with you/your spouse, now is the time to discuss how to move forward with them. Consider legal paperwork outlining visitation parameters to keep those familial bonds intact, as that’s almost always in the child’s best interest. 

Step Two: Schedule sessions with a therapist

If you aren’t seeing a therapist already, now is an excellent time to start. Weekly or every-other-week sessions provide the emotional support you need through the process. Also, your therapist knows that studies prove individuals and children fare best the less toxic the divorce proceedings are. By having a place to vent your emotional frustrations, anger, grief, etc., you can bring your highest self forward as you navigate the nuts and bolts of divorce proceedings.

If you have children, we strongly suggest providing family therapy. All children have a tough time, even in the smoothest and most collaborative of divorces. Regular sessions with a therapist support their well-being too.

Step Three: Consider legal separation if you’re “not quite sure”

If you are 100% sure you are getting divorced, then legal separation doesn’t make sense. However, many couples reach a point where they can’t imagine proceeding as things are – but they aren’t sure they want to make a permanent decision. 

Divorce is a final step, so sometimes the right amount of space is necessary to re-group, work on the issues at hand, and determine whether or not that’s what you want. You can discuss the pros and cons of legal separation during your initial mediation session.

Step Four: Review any prenups 

If you had a prenuptial agreement or any property agreements, now is the time to review those. This can help remind you what is already on paper so you can move forward with the rest of the asset/debt separation from there.

Step Five: List all of your assets and debts

As mentioned above, California is a community property state. This means you share all of the debts and assets acquired during the marriage except for heirlooms or gifts made personally to you. And, yes, that also means spouses are responsible for debt they didn’t know their spouse acquired during the marriage. 

Your divorce paperwork requires a complete list of all assets and debts, including relevant account numbers, and is typically split 50/50 based on valuation. This division takes place in many forms. It may mean one person keeps the house while the other takes the majority of the retirement accounts. It might mean one person buys the other out to keep the house. It might mean one person takes two cars, and the other gets one, and so on.

If you can work together without contention, that’s always the best way forward, and you can bring those decisions to your final mediation session. Otherwise, we can do it together during mediation. If any discrepancies arise, I simply let you know what the court will most likely decide, and you can continue from there.

Step Six: Determine child custody, visitation, and support

If both of you remain local, and there is no history of serious domestic violence, substance abuse, mental health issues, etc., odds are you’ll have a 50/50 custody agreement with shared visitation and very little to no child support (child support in 50/50 custody agreements is only awarded if there is a significant difference in household incomes such that a child’s quality of life is diminished in one over the other).

If someone moves further away, other custody/visitation agreements should be agreed upon, which will become part of the legal record.

Step Seven: Finalize the divorce

Once all the decisions are made and the paperwork is complete, your divorce mediation lawyer files it with the court. The divorce becomes legal six months from the date it was stamped “Filed.”

Now, it’s time to move forward with all of the post-divorce steps you must take following the divorce agreement’s instructions. If your spouse does not do what was required by the final date, we’ll file a form to that effect, and the courts will handle it with them from there.

Law Offices Of Gerard A. Falzone Facilitates Hassle-Free Divorces

Here at the Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone, we understand emotions are high during the dissolution of a marriage. However, that’s no reason for the divorce to become contentious or for proceedings to make your lives miserable. We work with Bay Area couples, helping them navigate hassle-free divorces, and achieving the best possible outcome for all involved. Contact us to schedule your divorce mediation session.

There are multiple ways to get divorced, some of which are simpler than others. A summary dissolution falls on the “simpler” end of the divorce spectrum. However, the process is only recommended for couples who meet specific criteria.

Summary Dissolution (Divorce) Explained

Most people consider divorces as long, complicated, and emotionally drawn out. While that is true in some cases, especially when couples disagree about how to divide assets or the arrangement of child custody and visitation decisions, some divorces don’t require the same level of paperwork and processing.

In that case, a summary dissolution is a potential option. The word dissolution means divorce, and it’s the term used by the court system. Most divorces in California use the regular dissolution process. According to the California Family Law Courts, a summary dissolution “…is a shorter and easier way…With this procedure, you will not have to appear in court. You may not need a lawyer, but it is in your best interest to see a lawyer about ending your marriage or domestic partnership.”

However, only some qualify. This is a good time to connect with a family law professional and learn whether or not summary dissolution is the right way to go for your divorce. You’ll probably need a single consultation, which can be done on a fee-only divorce mediation basis.

You May Qualify For A Summary Dissolution If…

Here are the qualifiers to move forward with a summary dissolution in California, and you must meet ALL of the criteria. 

You meet the residency requirements

One of you must have lived in California for the last six months and in the county where you file for summary dissolution for the last three months (this does not apply to domestic partnerships; you may end your domestic partnership registered in CA whether you live here or not as long as you meet the additional criteria). 

You do not have children together

Summary dissolutions use fewer divorce documents than a regular divorce. These add additional layers of processing and potential complications and are not part of the summary dissolution arrangement. If you have children together who are under 18 years of age (biological, foster, or adopted), you’ll need to move forward with a regular divorce.

That said, if you are both in agreement with zero to very minimal disputes or areas of concern, I highly recommend you work with a divorce and child custody mediator. It makes the process almost as simple as summary dissolution – and far more affordable than when you each retain an individual lawyer. 

You have been married and/or in a domestic partnership five years or less

If the date you married or registered your domestic partnership and the date you officially separated from your legal spouse or domestic partner is less than five years ago, a summary dissolution will work. However, if that date is even a single day past the five-year point, you’ll need a regular divorce.

You own very little 

Again, regular divorce proceedings handle any number of assets and asset values; summary dissolutions are designed for simplicity. Therefore you cannot:

• Own any real estate at all. This includes properties you’ve inherited or have your name on the title.
• If you rent or lease a living space, the rental agreement or lease must end within one calendar year of the dissolution.
• You have less than $47,000 worth of assets together and separately (assets include bank balances and furnishings owned). Cars are excluded

You can use FL 810 Worksheet VI to determine whether or not you still qualify based on what you own both separately and together.

You don’t owe very much

You cannot owe more than $6000 (excluding car loans) from the day you were legally joined until the day you legally separated.

Neither person wants spousal/domestic partner support

You cannot proceed with summary dissolution processes if either person wants or expects to receive spousal or domestic partner support. As with child custody and visitation agreements, spousal/domestic partner support entails extra documentation and processing.

You’re in complete agreement about the divorce

Everything must be agreed upon 100%. This means:

• You both fully support the divorce.
• Neither expects spousal or domestic partner support.
• You agree about how the assets/property (totaling less than $47,000) is being split.

If all of these apply to you, and you’ve consulted with a family law specialist to ensure you qualify, you have the green light to move forward with a summary dissolution.

What’s Needed To Complete A Summary Dissolution?

If you opt not to consult with a lawyer or family law mediator, the court provides DIY Summary Dissolution Instructions online. This includes a list of the forms you’ll need to complete and file with your county of residence (or the county where your domestic partnership was filed if you live outside the state):

• Joint Petition for Summary Dissolution (Form FL-800)
• Judgment of Dissolution and Notice of Entry of Judgment (Form FL-825)

Once those are filed by the court, the summary dissolution is finalized in six months. If one of you wants to back out and stop the proceedings, you’ll file a Notice of Revocation of Petition for Summary Dissolution (FL-830). However, if the other party still wants the divorce, the process starts over again through regular divorce proceedings.

Learn Whether Or Not You Qualify For A Summary Dissolution 

Are you in a legal marriage or domestic partnership where both parties are on board with divorce and you feel you meet the criteria for a summary dissolution? Then, schedule a consultation with the Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone. For a single, affordable fee, we will ensure you qualify, fill out all the necessary forms, and file them with the courts to ensure your divorce is finalized without being kicked back due to a paperwork error. 

If it turns out you don’t meet all of the criteria, our divorce mediation proceedings are the next best thing, which saves hundreds or thousands of dollars by streamlining the regular divorce paperwork process and keeping you away from hefty lawyer fees or time wasted in court. Contact us to get started.