What is Spousal Support?

what-is-spousal-supportIn San Francisco, when a married couple legally divorces, one spouse may be entitled to receive spousal support. Spousal support, or alimony, is a payment or payments made from one spouse to his or her spouse. The support is based on an agreement between the couple or court decision. You may have heard the term partner support and spousal support used interchangeably. There is a difference in California. Spousal support is a term used for legally married couples in the state. Partner support is generally used for couples who were involved in domestic partnerships and were not legally married.

The Purpose of Spousal Support
This type of support is given to one spouse who is considered lower-wage- or non-wage-earner. Alimony serves many purposes. One purpose is to control the unfair economic effects divorce has on the spouse who is not making as much money as his or her spouse.
For instance, if you decided to forego your career to raise your children, you may need time to return to school or a training program to develop your job skills. Another purpose of alimony to help the spouse to continue the standard of living he or she had during the marriage.

How a Spousal Support Case Begins
Before a spouse can receive any financial support, a case must be established with the court. For example, your lawyer can ask a judge to make a spousal support order if you have the following types of cases:

• Annulment

• Divorce

• Legal separation

• Domestic violence restraining order

Types of Spousal Support
The type of alimony a spouse receives depends on the status of the divorce.

Temporary Spousal Support
Pendente lite, or temporary spouse may be awarded while the divorce is pending or when the couple separates.

Rehabilitative Spousal Support
This is also a type of temporary support. It is awarded for a short time to help a spouse get on his her feet while the divorce proceeds. The money is typically given o that the spouse can go to school, obtain job training or find a way to become more self-sufficient. The support may also be awarded to a spouse who stays home with his or her children until they reach school age.

Permanent Spousal Support
Permanent alimony begins after the divorce is final. It generally continues unless two circumstances happen. One the spouse receiving the support remarries or dies.

Reimbursement Spousal Support
This type of support is for one spouse to reimburse, or pay back, his or her spouse for specific expenses. For instance, your spouse decided to go to medical school during the marriage. You worked to put him or her through school while supporting the household. You may receive reimbursement spousal support in exchange for helping your spouse build his or her career.

Factors Considered in Determining the Amount of Spousal Support Paid
You and your spouse may negotiate and agree on spousal support. This means that the agreement will become court order after a judge signs it. However, if you and your spouse cannot agree, a judge must determine the amount—if any—support will be paid. Here are some factors a judge uses in determining spousal support:

• Standard of living during the marriage.

• Length of the marriage.

• Any domestic violence during the marriage.

Talking to a Divorce Attorney
Obtaining or paying spousal support is a life-changing thing. You want to be prepared prior to asking for or fighting against alimony. To learn more about spousal support or obtain representation, contact a lawyer as soon as possible.

Do You Need a Restraining Order?

do-you-need-a-restraining-orderTo know if you need a restraining order, it’s important to understand what a restraining order is and what it does. A restraining order is a civil order that stops someone from engaging in threatening behavior. It is used to keep abusers, stalkers, and those who are harassing you away from you so you can feel safe and begin to build stability and order in your life. You will need a restraining order if a person is:

  • threatening you
  • harming you physically
  • engaging in sexual abuse
  • harassing you when you’ve asked them to stop
  • stalking you

A restraining order is a civil protection order. It will not create a criminal record, but it will create a document that can be enforced to protect your safety and the safety of your children if you have any. Criminal charges can often be filed in conjunction with a restraining order because domestic violence, sexual abuse, harassment, and stalking are all crimes. It is a legal process like any other that requires filing a document with the court and a court appearance to get a judge to grant you a protective order. How do you go about getting a restraining order? Is proof needed? How old do you have to be?

You must be 12 years of age to file for a restraining order on your own. You will need to file a document with the court requesting a restraining order. This will start the process of a temporary restraining order that will be in effect until a court date can be set up so that you can present to the judge the reasons for the restraining order. The abuser will be served with paperwork notifying them of the temporary restraining order in affect against them and also of the court date to appear.

A restraining order will prevent your abuser from stalking, harassing, or getting close enough to hurt you again. If this person lives with you, you can also ask for a “kick-out” order that will force them to move and not come to your residence again. Present all the proof you have to the judge so he can fully understand your case and make the terms of the restraining order fit your unique needs completely. It helps to document incidences of violence, stalking, and harassment. If you have police reports, use those, if not, keep a detailed record of specific incidences. For example, it is better to say “He followed me home from work on three occasions over a week-long period,” rather than simply “He’s stalking me.” A judge can better understand your case with details like these.

Once you have filed the paperwork with the court, and met with the judge, you will be issued a restraining order that is effective at your residence, place of employment, and children’s school, if applicable. You don’t need an attorney for this process, but if you’re unsure, it’s good to have an attorney help you with the paperwork. Oftentimes in cases like these, you may be going through a divorce or custody battle, and you’ll need an attorney to help navigate those complex legal processes.

What is Divorce Settled by Agreement?

divorce settled by agreementWhen a divorce is settled via an agreement, it’s called a divorce settlement, marital settlement or collaborative settlement agreement. The agreement allows you and your spouse to have a written agreement that spells out the terms of your divorce. The agreement specifically covers one or more of the following:

A divorce settlement agreement becomes binding when it’s incorporated into your divorce decree. If you or your spouse violates any part of the agreement, a judge may hold you in contempt of court.

The Agreement can be Drafted Any Time Prior to a Divorce

A divorce settlement agreement is ideal for any couple able to put their differences aside or are on speaking terms. It requires a lot of negotiation to agree on the different terms. You and your spouse can come to an agreement at any time before you separate and until your divorce trial.

Depending on your circumstances, you and your spouse may employ the help of a mediator or divorce lawyer. The mediator or lawyer will lead the negotiations and try to find common ground to make an agreement on specific terms.

You and your spouse may be tempted to handle the negotiations without help. However, it is highly recommended that you discuss your settlement with a divorce lawyer. You want a lawyer who will represent only you, not one hired to represent both of you. You need to know your legal rights.

Also, you want a lawyer to prepare your divorce agreement. It doesn’t matter if you or your spouse prepared one. Hiring a lawyer to prepare the document ensures that vital legal provisions are corrected, added or deleted.

The right legal language is used. Terms like, sole custody, waive all future claims or exclusive possession mean something. For instance, you may intend to have shared custody, but sole custody is written instead. This means that you’ve given up your rights to have joint custody to your child.

Should You Sign a Divorce Settlement Agreement You Don’t Agree With?

No. The best thing to do in this situation is discuss it with an attorney. It’s tempting to sign an agreement because you want to start over, but you must think about your future. If your spouse prepares the first draft—even if you agreed to everything verbally—still have an attorney look over it. This should be done no matter how much pressure is put on you by your spouse, family or even yourself. In fact, you nor your spouse have to sign the agreement. You won’t get into any legal trouble. Instead, you will start over again or go to divorce court.

Speaking with a Lawyer

A divorce changes your financial life drastically. Unfortunately, many individuals don’t realize that they may lose a lot of money after a divorce. So you will want to discuss how a divorce and/or divorce settlement will change yours with a lawyer:

  • Finances
  • Health insurance
  • Property ownership
  • Cost of living
  • Retirement plans

A divorce settlement agreement can be modified when there are changes in you or your spouse’s life. However, there are certain terms that can’t be changed depending on the wording of your original divorce agreement. For instance, it may be in the agreement that alimony is non-modifiable. In that case, you can’t go back and ask for a reduction or increase later.

What Does Child Support in California Cover?

Child support is always a very touchy subject for all parties involved. The parent paying the child support wants to make sure that the money is going to the child. The parent receiving the child support wants enough money to pay for all the child’s needs. Both parties can probably agree that raising a child can be expensive.

what-does-child-support-in-california-cover

Child Support Covers the Basics

Child support basically covers the child’s bare necessities—nothing more. The reason why the amount of child support differs from situation to situation is because of many factors like a parent’s ability to pay and income. The financial needs of the child also comes into play. Financial needs mean the amount of money needed to maintain a child’s standard of living. This doesn’t not include the cost of living for the parent who is receiving the child support. The following is a breakdown of what California’s child support covers:

Necessities

The necessities include food, shelter and clothing. Food refers to school lunches and other groceries. Shelter costs may be used to pay for rent or mortgage where the child resides. The money can also pay for the utility bills where the child lives.

Education

Child support cover any educational expenses related to the child’s schooling. This can range from tuition, tutors, school uniforms, application fees and books.

Medical Care

Both parents are required to have health insurance for their child. There are times when insurance doesn’t cover all the medical bills. Typically, medical costs that aren’t covered by insurance is split between the parents. A parent can use the child support he or she receives to cover any outstanding medical bills.

Entertainment

Child support covers basic entertainment. These are age-appropriate entertainment like plays, movies and toys. A parent can use the support to pay for the Internet and cable since the child is using the services.

Extracurricular Activities

The courts do factor in any extracurricular activities a child may participate in such as summer camp, sports and music lessons. The extracurricular activities are considered any regular activities that happen outside of school hours.

Childcare

Childcare includes cots like afterschool programs, daycare, babysitters and nannies.

Transportation

Many parents paying support may not like the fact that child support covers transportation. However, a parent is allowed to pay for basic transportation costs. These costs include car insurance, car maintenance and gas. The costs must be used in relation to the child’s needs. For instance, if the parent receiving the support pays for gas to go on a vacation. If the child is not going, then it is not an allowable cost.

College

This is a gray area. Many parents have a separate agreement regarding how much a parent must contribute to a child’s college education. However, the parent receiving the support can pay for college-related expenses.

What the Paying Parent Should Know

It is a myth that California child support covers only food, shelter and clothing. The support is meant to cover a range of expenses including extracurricular activities and entertainment. California family court doesn’t require parents to prove the child support covers the above costs. It is assumed that the parent receiving the support is paying for the child’s necessary, basic needs. The only time it may require the parent to show where the money is going is when his or her child’s needs are being met.

Child support is fluid. This means a parent can go to court to a modification based on certain circumstances. Individuals interested in a child support modification typically seek the help of a family law lawyer.

When is it too Late to Annul a Marriage in California?

when-is-it-too-late-to-annul-a-marriageFiling for an annulment rather than a divorce can be a complicated process. An annulment has the expressed goal of deeming the marriage invalid, and thus, wiping it from the record as if it never existed. A divorce, on the other hand, is when two parties agree to end a marriage through the process of divorce. While divorces can happen at anytime, and there is no limitations on when one can file for divorce, in the state of California, annulments do have deadlines. How long you can be married and still annul a marriage in California depends entirely on the reasons that are being used for an annulment.

Minors Who Marry 

If one or both of the parties in the marriage are under the age of 18, they can file for an annulment with this as a reason. If the minor is still under 18 at the time of the annulment request a parent or legal guardian can file the request. After the individual turns 18 he or she has 4 years from their 18th birthday to file for an annulment. From the age of 22 onward, a divorce petition must be filed, instead.

Bigamy 

Bigamy is the act of getting married while another, legal marriage still exists. In the case of bigamy, the second marriage is considered null and void, but the process of annulment must still be carried out. For an annulment on the grounds of bigamy both parties must be alive at the time of the proceedings. There is no time limit on when one can file for an annulment due to bigamy. The current spouse, or the pre-existing spouse can file.

Fraud 

Fraud is the most commonly used reason for an annulment request. Fraud, in this case, can be defined as one partner deceiving the other into the marriage. Fraud can be considered one partner telling the other that they’d like to have children when they do not. Fraud can also be defined as the withholding of important information that would have caused the marriage to never happen. The party who has been the victim of fraud must file for the annulment, and it must be within four years of discovering the fraud. Fraud, in certain circumstances, can be difficult to prove.

Force 

Force, in terms of an annulment, is the act of forcing one party to commit and consent to the marriage. This can happen when one party feels obligated to another, or when a minor enters into a partnership with an older individual. When force is being used as the reason for divorce, the one forced into the marriage must be the individual to file. An annulment because of force, must be filed within four years of entering into the marriage.

Physical Incapacitation 

An annulment of a marriage may be granted on the grounds of physical incapacity. That means, one party is no longer able to live up to their marital duties, or never was. For example, impotence can be considered a physical incapacity, however, the party asking for the divorce must prove that she was unaware of the physical disability at the time of the marriage. One can file for an annulment on these grounds as long as the marriage is no more than 4 years old.

Unsound Mind 

Under this reason, one party must prove that the other party is of unsound mind, or a conservator must prove that the individual was not of sound mind to consent to the marriage. This type of annulment can take place at any time during the marriage, as long as both parties are still living.

What is Premarital Legal Counseling?

Premarital legal counseling is a kind of therapy that’s aimed at ensuring you and your partner have a long and satisfying marriage. During premarital counseling, you and your partner may comewhat-is-premarital-legal-counseling across particular roadblocks that might lead to divorce.

Many churches offer premarital therapy; premarital therapy is usually mediated by a trained marriage and family therapist approved by the American Association for Family and Marriage Therapy.

Prenuptial Agreements and Premarital Counseling 

Sometimes, however, premarital legal counseling could involve looking at the couple’s finances and reasons for pursuing a prenuptial agreement.

Recent surveys from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says that over sixty percent of divorce lawyers saw an uptick in prenuptial agreements over the last three years.

In addition, this same group of divorce lawyers said that women are disproportionately the ones filing for a prenuptial agreement. This, obviously, jars with the popular conception of the man in the house being the sole breadwinner and filing a prenuptial agreement to protect his assets.

Issues Tackled in Premarital Counseling 

Premarital counseling’s main goal is to have couples discuss their social, emotional and financial expectations for the upcoming marriage, and work out any problems related to those areas. If the couple can’t agree on the financial role for each party before the marriage, then a prenuptial agreement might be an appropriate topic to bring up in premarital counseling.

Generally speaking a prenuptial agreement is a legal contract that couples enter into before a marriage or civil union. A prenuptial agreement mainly covers issues like spousal support and division of property should a divorce or breakup result from the marriage or civil union. A premarital agreement covers eventualities like who will own what following the death of one spouse or a divorce. With a premarital counselor, you can work through which property is yours alone and which pieces of property you expect to be jointly owned by both spouses.

Although this would technically be outside the purview of premarital counseling, a postmarital agreement could be entered into after the marriage to settle many of the same issues (e.g., division of property) following a possible divorce. In addition, you would want a divorce lawyer rather than a premarital counselor to oversee a separation agreement, which is alternatively called a property settlement agreement.

Legal Issues to Address in Premarital Counseling 

Present and future property as well as personal income are all fair game when it comes to the areas divorce lawyers can help mediate in a prenuptial agreement. The legal right to sell or lease property, mortgages and marriage dissolutions can also be discussed before the marriage with a premarital counselor or with a divorce lawyer, granted a premarital agreement is something that both future spouses want to pursue.

A premarital agreement is effectuated only after the couple officially ties the knot. A premarital agreement can be changed or revoked granted that each party is willing to sign a document disavowing the standing premarital agreement. Also, it’s usually wise to sign a premarital agreement no later than a month before the marriage takes place. If a premarital agreement is rushed and signed 30 days or fewer before the marriage happens, issues like duress or coercion can enter the picture and make the premarital agreement more contestable in court.

Both a premarital counselor and divorce lawyer can help you and your spouse establish long and near-term financial goals and marriage expectations. You can discuss the disposition of property and even alimony with a premarital counselor or experienced divorce lawyer. Prenuptial agreements are very binding in California, especially with respect to shared property and alimony.

What is a Prenup?

Once upon a time couples who married stayed married, but that simply is not the case anymore. what-is-a-prenupDivorce has become increasingly common, and because of this, many people now feel it is necessary to protect themselves and their assets from the possibility of their marriage ending in divorce. Prenuptial agreements are one way to do just that. A Prenuptial agreement, sometimes called a prenup, is a contract that outlines what will happen in the case of a divorce. They usually focus on the division of property and assets, and often times outline any alimony or support settlements in the case of divorce.

The stipulations of a prenuptial agreement are unique to each couple. For example, some agreements have further clauses that change settlement amounts if adultery is the cause of the dissolution of the marriage. Prenups can also make arrangements in the event of one’s death rather than in the event of a divorce. Prenups stipulations will depend almost entirely on the couple in question and what they consider valuable as they enter into a marriage.

What are the Requirements for a Prenup?

In the United States a prenuptial agreement is considered valid, and it is recognized in every state, however, not all prenuptial agreements are enforced, and some have found ways to have prenups thrown out or invalidated in court. In order to be considered a valid contract it must meet the following requirements;

  • The prenuptial agreement must be written. Oral contracts are not enforceable.
  • Both parties must sign the contract voluntarily in front of counsel who can attest that both parties entered into the contract willingly.
  • Both parties must be completely informed of the others intentions and assets.
  • Both parties must sign the contract in front of a notary for it to be deemed valid.
  • The document must be signed prior to the issuing of the marriage license. ‘

Because of the requirements of the contract many agreements have been thrown out or deemed invalid when brought to court. Most commonly, people argue that the prenup was not entered into willingly, or that they were coerced to sign the agreement. Often times one party can also argue that they were not offered full disclosure by the other party at the time of the agreement, thus making it invalid.

When Do Couples Need Prenups?

Some will argue that a prenup is only intended for the very rich or very famous as they are the people who need to protect their assets from a divorce. Well, that’s not exactly the case. Some lawyers argue that every couple should have a prenup. Simply put, divorces are messy. Whether you are going through a divorce a year into the marriage of 15 years into the marriage, you should want to make the process as smooth as possible, and prenups do just that. Not to mention, just because you aren’t rich today, doesn’t mean you won’t be rich someday. Today’s waiter may turn into tomorrow’s best seller, today’s college dropout may turn into tomorrow’s technology tycoon. Fact of the matter is that you never know where you will be or how your marriage will pan out, so it is best to protect yourself at the onset and ensure if your marriage ends it can end amicably, or at least, with the least amount of hassle.

The Effects of Divorce on Young Children

effects of divorce on young children

Here at the Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone, we speak with people every day that are worried how divorce will affect them, but also how it might change the life of their children. Most children find divorce to be sad, confusing and stressful. These issues are not unavoidable, but it is important to be aware of them to help prevent problems. Below are some of the effects of divorce on young children:

Poor social and math skills

According to a study carried out in 2011 by the University of Wisconsin-Madison, children from divorced families are likely to lag behind other children in social skills and math. They may also suffer from stress, poor self-esteem and anxiety. The children are also less likely to have good social skills like their peers from stable homes.

Increased chances of not finishing high school

According to a recent study, 78 percent of children from intact households finish high school by the time they are 20 years. On the other hand, only 60 percent of children who go through family changes (divorce, remarriage or death) graduate at around the same time. Younger children tend to be more affected during divorce periods. Also, the more changes children go through, the more difficult it becomes for them to finish school.

High risks of getting a stroke

There is a strong correlation between the risk of adults getting stroke and divorce. However, many adults with divorced parents are not prone to getting a stroke. The relationship can be as a result of being exposed to stress, which may change a person’s physiology. This effect was seen among children who experienced divorce in the 1950s, when divorce was not as common as it is today.

Susceptibility to sickness

Children living with divorced parents have a 35 percent risk of developing health difficulties compared to the 26 percent risk in all children. This is as a result of “very significant stress” because of the dramatic change in their lives. Divorce can also reduce a child’s accessibility of health insurance, which may result to loss of certain aspects that contribute to good health. This includes a safe environment and constant adult supervision. Health difficulty risks are higher than average during the first four years of divorce but can actually increase in the years that follow.

Indulging in drugs

Children from divorced families, compared to their peers in non-divorced families, are considerably likely to indulge themselves in drugs. Research shows that men whose parents divorced when they were kids have higher odds of 48 percent of smoking than those raised in intact families. Women have higher odds of 39 percent of smoking.

Greater chances of getting divorced

Children from divorced homes are more likely to go through divorce when they get married. Although they aspire for stable relationships, the children tend to get married as teenagers. Apart from this, they tend to marry people from divorced families. A research carried out by Wolfinger suggests that a couple with one spouse who grew up in a divorced home has double chances of getting a divorce. If both partners as children experienced divorce, they have triple chances of getting a divorce.

A child of any age may feel uncertain or get angry at the prospect of their parents separating. When going through a divorce, you should be there for your children to reassure them everything will be fine to help mitigate these effects of divorce on young children. You can help your kids cope with divorce by attending to all their needs with a reassuring attitude and providing them with a stable home.

Tips For Coping With a Divorce

Coping with a divorce is almost as difficult as coping with life after death. Both involve grieving in order to process a loss. Losing someone that you were close to causes emotional pain and suffering, and we’ve all been through it in one form or another. 

Many people who get divorced are grateful that they are now unattached. Even so, there is still stress that must be dealt with. Stress cannot be ignored because it will rear its ugly head in one form or another. If you don’t feel the stress building up emotionally, you will either feel it physically or mentally. If you ignore this pain and stress and allow it to be repressed deeper in your mind, it isn’t going to get better, only worse.

coping with divorce

So, here are some tips to help you cope with a divorce: 

  1. Focus on Your Emotions – How do you feel? What’s going through your mind? Process these emotions so that you can be at peace.
  2. Get Counseling – Both individual and group counseling will be a much welcomed form of therapy. If you have no one to talk to, you won’t be able to fully process your emotions, and your stress will then increase. Check out this article: http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/life-after-divorce-3-survival-strategies
  3. Surrender – No one on earth has control over anything. Sure, we can go with the flow or we can attempt to make changes. However, remember to stay focused on the things you can control, and let go of everything else. (Hint: Read the Serenity Prayer).
  4. Don’t Lie to Yourself, it only makes things worse for you – Read this article:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jackie-pilossoph/coping-with-divorce-20-li_b_3619899.html.
  5. Have Fun – In order to get rid of stress, you have to take time and enjoy your life. Enjoy yourself by getting a massage, going to a club, or doing something fun that you love.
  6. Diet and Exercise – When dealing with overwhelming or stressful emotions, it’s important to take care of your body. Many people tend to ignore their physical needs. This can create even more stress and possibly sickness. Exercise releases endorphins into the blood stream. These are feel good chemicals that cut stress off at the pass.
  7. Don’t Make Big Decisions Right Now – Your mental capacities are overtaxed right after a divorce, so make sure not to make any decisions like buying a house or a car, or even getting re-married. Re-marriage may have been your primary reason for divorcing, but give it some time. You aren’t telling yourself ‘NO’, you are telling yourself ‘not right now’.
  8. Laugh – Laughter is truly the best medicine and it heals the soul. Watch comedies, or better yet, go to a comedy club. Keep a good sense of humor around friends and family, and show the world that you are an over comer!
  9. Re-Create Yourself – Get out and have fun. Find new hobbies, re-invent your life. You are not a ‘spouse’ any longer. You are single, so enjoy it while you can.
  10. Don’t Be Afraid to Start Over – Starting over again includes all of the above and more. Do something different, take a college course, write in a journal, or volunteer your time to something you love.

Take Action!

Once you do these things, you will find out who you really are apart from your ex. When you get married you base your identity on your life with your significant other. You are starting over again, so take advantage of this new beginning. It’s hard to take action in the midst of overwhelming emotions, but it’s the most therapeutic thing you can do for yourself.

Navigating a Difficult Divorce

Most people consider divorce as one of the most stressful times a person will ever experience. Psychology Today posits that dissolution of marriage is probably more stressful than even the death of a spouse, especially for people who don’t want to end a marriage or are financially dependent on a spouse. That stress can multiply and cause it’s own set of problems if the proceedings become exceptionally difficult, and many couples to find themselves navigating difficult journeys when they decide to end their marriage.

It’s important to remember during these difficult times that all things eventually come to an end and you can find ways to make a difficult divorce less stressful, traumatic and emotional.

Navigating a Difficult Divorce

Kids First
First, let’s talk about the kids. When a marriage involving children comes to an end, parents must take extra care to ease stress and anxiety their children may feel. Kids need to grieve the end of the marriage as well and may even wish you would choose to get back together.

Keeping a focus on the children can help you navigate your own difficulties because it takes the focus off of the arguments between you and your former spouse, putting it instead on the children. Take the time to listen to them, answer their questions and tell them the truth. This focus on the kids can help you put arguments into perspective and get through disagreements faster.

Count to Ten
Most of us know it’s better to think first, then speak. Thomas Jefferson famously said, “When angry, count to 10 before you speak. If very angry, a hundred.” It’s a maxim that holds more power than we realize because when we’re angry, we want to react out of anger. That’s not overly productive and can lead to more problems.

In a difficult divorce, you will get angry but how you respond to the anger, anger management essentially, can make the process easier or more difficult. Anger management experts also advise taking deep breaths between each number as you count to facilitate relaxation and being in the moment.

You can also mitigate anger by:

  • Taking a step back and responding later; there is hardly ever a need for immediate responses;
  • Practicing anger management in times of calm;
  • Avoiding situations that can trigger anger or make it worse;
  • And describing what made you angry in specific, rather than general, terms.

You may not be able to make the difficulty disappear, but you can control your response to it.

Seek Help
A difficult divorce may feel like it eats up all your time, and it will require more effort than an easy separation. Seeking help from a therapist with expertise in divorce can help you work through the difficult times, even though it feels like you can’t fit one more thing into your schedule or don’t want to spend one minute more thinking about it.

Mark Banschick, a psychiatrist and author of The Intelligent Divorce series, advocates therapy for spouses and children during what he terms “malignant divorces.” Therapists can help you clarify your goals, help children through this difficult time, and act as a sounding board.

Ending a marriage will cause stress in your life. There’s no getting around it. Difficult separations can make getting to the end feel especially stressful. You can navigate a difficult divorce, though, by keeping your focus on what’s important, managing your emotions and talking with a professional therapist.

Your Local Family Law Attorney Can Help

No matter which stage you’re at, if you know there needs to be a change in your marital situation, Family Law Attorney Gerard A. Falzone welcomes your call for help. From mediation to filing for divorce, he’s here to help with a no obligation free phone consultation.